dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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