Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
