I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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