If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
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Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dicks are not precious.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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