Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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