Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
