Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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