I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
