I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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