you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I know her cup size but not her name....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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