I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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