Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wish my penis had a tongue
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
