I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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