I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
