She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize