no, he came in my armpit
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
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Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i believe in u and ur pee
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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