Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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