Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
