I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
COCAINE IS GR8
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
