its not stalking. its research.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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