oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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