Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
