He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
