Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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