sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
