Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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