I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
