i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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