Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
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I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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