My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
