I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My bed smells like the plague
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
