Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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