I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
