Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
