I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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