So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
