sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.