We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt