So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
