We're facebook friends in real life
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother