Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
