But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
