he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
