forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
