is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so let's talk penis.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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