I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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