Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
