You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
