Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
