idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
