Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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