Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
