you guys were way drunker than both of me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
