I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
