You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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