so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
vagina is talking i cant
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
