will power is for people who don't want to get laid
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
