I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
