I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
