There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am in a vortex of obligation.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
