hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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